Mental Health ~ Sexual Assault Awareness Month ~ (April)

 

Sexual Assault 

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Sexual Assault Awareness Month 

As you may or may not know the month of April is sexual assault awareness month. The aim of the month  is to raise awareness of sexual assault, with a large number of people referring to sexual slurs and comments as "it's just banter" theres no wonder why many people feel that its not going to get them anywhere if they report what has happened and sometimes the anxiety and horror of having to relive the experience and then not get any closure or support afterwards makes it more increasingly difficult when attempting to get people to report sexual assault when it has happened.

Despite it seeming perfectly innocent, the simple act of wolf whistling at people in the street is a form of sexual assault, more so a form of sexual abuse as it makes many young girls and boys increasingly uncomfortable, especially when said individuals are usually in school uniforms, meaning that the age of some of these individuals is anything from the age of 11 (Year 7, first year of secondary school) to the age of 16 (Year 11, last year of secondary school). Despite this many people are still justifying this as "just banter" or "a little bit of fun" which is not the case, this is predatory and makes you a predator. 

As a victim of sexual assault myself, I can honestly say that I found it more and more increasingly difficult to come to terms with and to deal with. Granted, I never reported my assault because I had no evidence or proof that it had happened. Luckily I was able to get away from my attacker and nothing happened, well I say nothing happened, by which I mean he didn't rape me, however this was only because I was able to get away and kick him off of me. I was only able to do this because despite him grabbing me and forcing me down on my front, he had my arms trapped under me against my chest, I had given up with screaming ad shouting for him to get off of me at this point because I was trapped, I didn't think that I would be able to get away from him at this point. Once he had me held down, he proceeded to climb on top of me and began to pull down my tracksuit bottoms, before he positioned himself above me, it was at this moment that I realised that I was still able to move my legs and that he hadn't restrained them; with this I proceeded to kick up behind me and managed to hit my attacker in the back, I proceeded to do this a few times before it hurt him enough to get him off of me. Now I know this is wrong to do and I shouldn't have done it but I wanted to make sure that I was able to get away from him, I kneed him in the balls, I had only done this because I knew it would give me enough time to get myself sorted and to run away to ensure that he wouldn't be able to follow me home and proceed to continue with his attempt. My attacker was someone I knew and someone who I was friends with and had been for a number of years, now it goes without saying I am no longer friends with my attacker and I no longer have any contact with him.

The nature of sexual assault by rape or penetration within England and Wales for the year ending March 2020. Below is some information from the Crime Survey for England and Wales on the amount, type and nature of sexual assault by rape or penetration (including attempts) experienced since the age of 16. For the year ending March 2020, the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) estimated that 1.6 million adults aged 16 to 74 years had experienced sexual assault by rape or penetration, including attempts since the age of 16 years old. An analysis of the nature of these assaults uses CSEW data from the years ending March 2017 and March 2020 combined but limited to adults aged 16 to 59 years old.

Some statistics for victims who have experienced sexual assault by rape or penetration, including attempts since the age of 16:

• Almost half had been a victim more than once. (49%)
• Fewer than one in six (16%) reported the assault to the police and of those that told someone but not the police. 40% stated embarrassment as a reason with 38% not reporting after thinking the police couldn't help and a further 34% thought it would be humiliating.
• More than four in ten (44%) were victimised by their partner or ex-partner.
• Nearly one in ten (9%) had been victimised on the street, in a car park, the park or another open public space, compared to just over one-third (37%) in their own home.
• Over half (54%) said the perpetrator used physical force, such as holding them down, to force them to have sex with them and (6%) said the perpetrator had threatened to kill them.

Some further statistics included 20% of women and 4% of men having experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16, which is equivalent to 3.4 million female and 631,000 male victims. Further more with 3.1% of women (510,000) and 0.8% of men (138,000) aged 16 to 59 had experienced a sexual assault in the last year.

Despite the serious amounts of men and women who have been victims of sexual assault, these are just the assaults that had been reported. With 38% of people not reporting their assaults after they had happened due to not thinking that the police could help or do anything. I believe that more needs to be done in schools and workplaces to educate everyone more on what is seen and can be seen as sexual assault and sexual abuse. Granted this may not help prevent or solve the issue, but theres no harm in educating both the men and women throughout school and the working environment to try and prevent sexual assaults from happening.

 

Another thing I have an issue with and I think needs to be addressed within schools is the assumption that girls dressing inappropriately in schools, with regards to it being suggested that if their skirts are to short or if they are showing to much skin then it is causing a distraction for the male pupils within schools. Furthermore with the statement that it is also a distraction for the male staff members within schools. Now I am in no way saying that schools should or shouldn't have school uniforms. In my opinion if the male teachers within schools are distracted by the female students and how they dress then they are in the wrong profession and maybe working in a school isn't the right place for them, but despite my opinions on this, the issue in hand is that schools are suggesting to young impressionable girls that to get attention from the boys they need to dress showing more skin etc, but this isn't the case. As a result of this, some female students are being barraged by others while out in public, down to criticising the way they are dressing and cat calling/ wolf whistling which can lead to them feeling incredibly uncomfortable and vulnerable.

Sexual assault is such a pressing issue, which effects a large number of people at some point during their life, whether thats being sexual assaulted themselves or knowing someone who has been sexually assaulted. With TikTok becoming more and more popular, there is a sound that many people are using the share what they were wearing when they had been sexually assaulted. The sound was originally used and uploaded by TikTok user leah_ahernxo and the sound contains music from 'Stand Up (From Harriet) - Cynthia Erivo.

Popular TikToker @edenharvzofficial also shared her story and what she was wearing when she was sexually assaulted. Eden stated in her caption for the post that she distinctively remembers saying the words "I was dressed quite inappropriately" to the police officer, in which Eden proceeds to say the price officer had looked at her like she was crazy. (Above Video)

I also made a video of what I was wearing when I was attacked. (Below Video)

Now despite me not actually being raped, the attack was still there and still happened and whether or not I had actually been assaulted with penetration, I was assaulted nonetheless. I thought that I had be able to deal with my attack, even after telling my family, which took me ages to come to terms with doing. After I had told my family I happened to run into my attacker on my way to visit one of my friends. My attacker approached me all friendly as if nothing had happened and as if we were still friends. To which, when I saw him walking towards me I had contemplated crossing over the road to avoid him, as a way of escaping from him again, however I decided within myself that I had done nothing wrong and that I had no need to hide or run away from him again. So I had originally planned on walking straight past him, but as he approached me I decided that I would confront him and share how he had made me feel. He originally stated that he couldn't see what he had done wrong and couldn't workout why I was acting the way I was. After a brief reiterating what he had done and stating that we are no longer friends and I didn't wish to ever see or hear from him again, he accepted that he had done wrong. He proceeded to try and apologise for what had happened and continued to try as I proceeded to tell him that I didn't want an apology from him, to which he walked away. I have since removed him from all social networks and blocked his number.

Despite me believing that I had dealt with this issue and got over the worst of it, I hadn't as all these months later I relapsed in my struggle with my mental health, more so my depression as the realisation of what had happened kicked in and made me struggle even more; as a result I had reverted back to self harming. Now the attack isn't the sole cause of me relapsing, so I in no way fully blame my attacker for me self harming, but he played a huge part in the downfall of my mental health and had led to the relapse in my struggle with depression and anxiety. The anxiety comes from me being concerned in what other people have heard or what they've been told. The anxiety surrounding what other people think of me has become a real issue, but despite this I m working on my confidence and processing what are the causes of my anxiety and depression; and slowly but surely I am hoping to deal with the issues, regardless of how long it may take in order to process and learn to live in unison with my mental health. The reason that I say to live in unison with my mental health is due to me knowing and accepting the fact that the anxiety and depression are always going to be part of me, and its the choosing to accept this and build up the coping strategies for dealing with them and living a 'normal', well as close to a 'normal' life as possible.