Mental Health ~ Mental Health & Me

 Mental Health

Mental health week (14th - 20th May)

Mental health is deemed as a problem and everyone sees mental health as taboo and a massive issue. This is due to the stigma that has been attached to mental health from years ago.

Due to more people saying and recognising that they have a mental health issue more people are finally recognising it as a real medical issue that is treatable. With many celebrities and influencers talking about mental health and their own mental health, more people have come forward to talk about their own experiences and are seeking the help that they need. With the increased number of people seeking help and advice with mental health the government has recognised that it is a big issue within society and have began funding more services to help and support those with mental health issues. 

Mental health week takes place from 14th till the 20th May and is put in place to help change the views and perspective of mental health. It is hosted and setup by the mental health foundation. Research has shown that two thirds of us are likely to suffer with mental health at some point in our lives, the idea of mental health week is to help those suffering with mental health and show that support is available who are struggling and need help and those who want help and support with coming to terms with and dealing with their own mental health.

As its mental health week I decided to film this video to inform you all about mental health. I'm not a professional in anyway and have no idea about the best treatments for every mental health issue. I'm basically going to talk about my own experiences and my own mental health issues and how I dealt with them and what I found worked best. 

Bereavement had caused my mental health to get worse as i began to feel more alone and isolated within my family, however this came after i was already isolated and felt alone as through out secondary school, Year 7, aged 11/12 to year 11, aged 16/17 i had been continuously bullied and verbally abused by a variety of people. It was stupid things at first such as calling me fat, this didn't really bother me at first as i knew that i was skinny and wasn't fat, however after being called fat and described as fat all day from 8:30 to 3:15 for the first month of year 7 i began to believe that i really was fat. This contribute to me beginning to suffer with an eating disorder and me not wanting to eat while in school. I was good at hiding it so no one really noticed. It was when i was aged 13 so year 8 going in to year 9 that i was caught by my mum not eating at home. Rather than saying it wasn't bad and asking why she did what i now think of as the best thing she could have done which was to say that if she ever heard of me doing it again or saw me hiding food and not eating at dinner she would take me to an eating disorder clinic and they would have to force feed me through a tube. This petrified me not because i would have been taken away from my family but because i would have been forced to eat. At this time i didn't feel in control of my life and didn't feel like i had a choice in what i was doing so by me controlling what i ate and when i ate if i did eat, was my way of having control.as a further result of being bullied i began suffering with anxiety and depression. This also came around in year 7 so when i was aged 11 but was there long before. My anxiety had begun to get worse when i wasn't eating as i was worried about being caught and people noticing that i wasn't okay. The depression came from being bullied as i didn't feel good enough and was isolated as a result of the bullying where everyone within my year group had practically joined in with the bullying. 

My isolation within my family came from when my nan died, this wasn't because my family isolated me but because i isolated myself. I did this as i blamed myself for her death. Mainly because she noticed that i wasn't okay and that every time i went to see her i was skinnier than i was before, she got so worried about me that she asked what was wrong and when i told her, her expression and her facial response was so blank like she had just been told the worse thing in the world, this made me think that i was weird like the bullies had said. After she passed away i felt so alone as she was the only one who really noticed and knew that something was wrong. When my grandma passed away it really affected me again as i was to busy to be able to go and say goodbye to her. It wasn't like i didn't want to but the rest of my family had and where it happened so quickly i wasn't able to get to see her in time. I feel so bad about this as i feel like it made it seem that i didnt care about her when i really did.  

Fast forward to college now, starting when i was aged 16/17 until now, and im still suffering with mental health issues however its not as bad as it was when i was younger. Im suffering from depression and anxiety still which are manageable, the depression only really becomes a problem occasionally like once or twice every 2 weeks, however the anxiety plays a massive part in my life and its like i don't have control over my life again as if im having a really bad anxiety day i wont do anything to the extent where i wont leave my house. I'm am currently taking medication for my anxiety, the anti-anxiety medication fluoxetine, although this medication is more useful as an anti-depressant. This helps manage it usually but sometimes its to much and i cant prevent my anxiety from playing a massive part of my life. This has led to me suffering from the eating disorder again and body dysmorphia. I am in no way promoting mental health disorders or encouraging you to do anything in this video other than talk about your own mental health with other people and let others know that there is something wrong and that you want help with it.  

I have self-harmed in an attempt to feel something and to see if i'm alive, by alive i mean if i bleed after ive self-harmed, as i don't feel alive at all due to the medication completely making me feel numb and not show or have emotions really. 

I hate that I've self-harmed and would never wish or want anyone i know, love or care about to self-harm as i know the extend of what it can lead to and how far people do go with it. '13 reasons why, its kind of a funny story,' really effected me as i felt that it fitted in with what i was feeling and how i have felt in the past.  

The idea of me posting this video isn't to promote self-harm or anything bad, its simply to say that mental health is likely to affect everyone at some point during their life. I'm simply making this video in an attempt to change the views of many people and to say that mental health isn't anything to be ashamed of. 

I use apps such as headspace, what's up?, i use music to shut out the mental health thoughts, i hate being in complete silence as it scares me, as stupid as that sounds it scares me because im scared of my thoughts and the idea/ concept of being alone reminds me of my troubled school life. I watch you-tubers such as zoella, Inanna sarkis, even a you-tuber who i started watching when i was around 8 called sqaishey who posted a video as well during this mental health week about her own experiences with mental health and how she's dealt with it. I found that a lot of these helped me come to terms with my own mental health and i tried their techniques to see if they helped me. My favourite method to use is the burrito method, which is when you wrap yourself tightly in a blanket, i usually do this when watching tv shows or films to recompose myself from what ever mental health drama is happening with me at that point in time. 

It was really hard for me to attempt at making this video and i have tried recording it multiple times. Thank you for watching and listening if you've made it this far and if the video is actually here to be watched and if it is, if it will stay uploaded after i've posted it,

If you or anyone you know is struggling please talk to someone and see if you can get help for what you need help with. I will leave links in the description to different mental health apps and different websites where help and advice will be available.

Mental health is a much bigger issue than people think, and it can and usually does effects everyone at some point during their life, the effects of mental health can be very traumatic and can even lead to situations such as self harm, eating disorders, isolating themselves and even suicide. 

Mental Health has been in the media  a lot recently with celebrities opening up about their own experiences with mental health. Also, with a variety of TV shows and Films such as 13 reasons why, Riverdale, its kind of a funny story. Although its easy for many people to see that mental health is involved with in the TV show 13 reasons why and the film its kind of a funny story, with the TV show Riverdale its not as obvious... However the character Elizabeth (otherwise known as Betty) struggles with mental health as well as an awful lot of the other characters whether its issues with appearance, family, friends or even themselves.

If you or anyone you know, love and care about is suffering from a mental health illness. Get help, talk to others or to them and don't suffer in silence alone. There is help available out there so don't forget to use it and follow some of the helpful advice provided and given.

Some Mental Health websites and useful apps that can help. 

• https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
• https://www.mind.org.uk/
• https://youngminds.org.uk/
• https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/what-are-mental-health-problems/mental-health-help-you/other-useful-organisations
• https://www.headspace.com/
• https://itunes.apple.com/gb/developer/headspace-meditation-limited/id384434796
• https://www.calm.com/
• https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/calm/id571800810?mt=8
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